


Do your boy over

by semele



Series: Every Other Freckle [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sexual Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 03:46:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5728471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/semele/pseuds/semele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Raven asks him if he ever wanted a do-over, she’s clearly joking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do your boy over

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [trEAT your girl right](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5613190) by [shortitude](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortitude/pseuds/shortitude). 



> A rewriting done as a part of [Ravenbell Weekend](http://ravenbell-exchange.tumblr.com/post/136871376687/when-january-16th-17th-what-ravenbell-fandom).

The first time Raven asks him if he ever wanted a do-over, she’s clearly joking.

They’re in bed, gasping and sweaty, and a little bit dazed from this fascinating new thing they share, and she breathes out her question in between satisfied groans, _I missed this, fuck, why didn’t we..._ She probably doesn’t expect a real answer, and Bellamy doesn’t bother giving her one; instead, he moves from between her legs, trailing gentle kisses up her body until he’s resting next to her, very pleased with himself.

“Come here,” he says with a smile. “Rest.”

Well, come closer, she does. Rest, not necessarily.

***

Truth is, he’s been thinking about doing better by her ever since that night she left his tent heartbroken. Maybe he just wanted to be a better person, the kind of person who doesn’t chase people away when they’re in pain; but a part of it, he knows, is that it’s really hard to get Raven Reyes out of your head once you saw her naked. It’s pathetic, he knows it is, but he couldn’t help the fantasy slipping into his head whenever he was feeling weak, or vulnerable, or simply turned on. 

If he often had trouble looking her in the eye a day or two afterwards, he hopes nobody noticed.

So yes, he has an idea what he’d do if they got a do-over of that night three years ago; countless variations of the same fantasy in which he doesn’t lose his head, doesn’t try biting her head off, isn’t so damn scared. There are versions in which he talks her out of leaving, and versions in which she doesn’t even try to leave. Hell, there is even a version in which they get their do-over on the very next night.

And then, there is reality.

In reality, Raven Reyes is twenty two years old, easier and harder, rougher and softer. She isn’t the girl he remembers, but that’s okay. He loves this one even more.

So when she says, “If it had been like this the first time, I might not have let you go,” he immediately feels hot in the cheeks. And then he tells her.

***

She has to be in his tent first, and so he makes sure to not jump the gun, even if he feels anticipation buzzing under his skin all day long. Up until the last moment, he doesn’t know what he’ll do, and he tries telling himself that this is the whole point. After all, back then he didn’t know, either.

In other words: good luck, Blake, you almost convinced yourself that you aren’t even more nervous than before your first time.

It’s ridiculous, of course, because there is nothing to be nervous about. Raven is his best friend, they’ve been sleeping together for months, and they’re just doing this for fun. To spice things up. Right. Because retroactive roleplay is their number one kink of choice.

Which is why, by the time he steps into the tent, he’s so stressed out he’s almost tongue-tied, and he can’t look her in the eye at all as they start playing out their scene

“I’m not the kind of guy who cares,” he tells her, and he can hear he’s speaking too fast, his voice all wrong, his hands on his hips, all wrong. What the fuck is he even doing? How is this what he wanted? Raven pretending to be in pain to satisfy his fantasy? Great job, Blake. Stellar.

He looks up at her with a nervous smile to call things off, and that’s when he notices the look on her face. Calm. Curious. Needy. So he clears his throat.

“Time to move on.”

She actually stumbles out of her pants, and he moves to help her in a heartbeat, amused by the stark contrast between his words and what he’s actually doing. This whole thing is ridiculous, artificial and rehearsed, and holy shit, they’re terrible actors, their gestures stiff and lines all jumbled together, but there is something real under the artifice, something they never had a chance to say. _I care. I cared even then. You got better. I love you. You are so very brave._

And he knew that. He knew it even then. But he was an idiot, and he needed this one girl to tell him to show everyone how he cares. So now he whispers her name before he kisses her, and looks at her the way he didn’t dare back then; takes her in honestly, and moves to pull her close. We have a demon to kiss away.

He wouldn’t have been like this three years ago, and they both know it. But this isn’t the question of would have. This is the question of should have. And what they’re doing right now isn’t about him.

So he kisses her deeply, and picks her up like she’s precious; gives her the lover he should’ve been three years ago, tender and reverent just like she deserved, and not the terrified, sleep-deprived mess she actually got. Focused fully on her, and not on the war playing out in his head.

This is where he cheats a bit, and kisses her neck exactly how he knows she loves, prepared to deny it if she calls him out. Which, she won’t. He’s moving down her body, and she so, so won’t.

“Look at you,” he tells her quietly, and lets his wonder, past and present, show in its fullest. This is just a game, and he’s giving her a fantasy. It’s not really _himself_ he’s revealing. It won’t freak her out. “How anyone would let you go, it’s a marvel.”

He pushes his hand inside her underwear because that’s what makes sense in this story; that’s what he should do if he’s trying to make her live a better version of things, a version that’s not tainted with war or grief. Did he do this in her fantasies, he wonders? Did he talk to her breathlessly? Did he stick his head between her legs, and make her come?

Because that’s what he did in _his_ fantasies, and now, with emotions running high, there is nothing else he can think of.

It appears he was wrong, or maybe he struck the wrong cord, because even though her body looks relaxed and flushed, she’s shaking her head when he comes back up, telling him that it’s not, it wasn’t… So he puts his hand on her hip to distract her from a bad memory.

“Look at me,” he says, hoping his voice can pull her back into the now. “Who are you here with?”

Later, he can ask her what went wrong, but he knows Raven enough to know that first, he has to kiss her better, and put a body between her and whatever she’s remembering. So he sinks into her as soon as she tells him yes, and rolls them to their sides, a breathless joke about riding him ready on his lips. Then she tells him she loves him, and he doesn’t really have it in him to playact with her anymore.

***

When he asks her in the morning what bad memory he brought back when he went down on her, she laughs in his face, then has him do it again.


End file.
